Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
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how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
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Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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