i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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