i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I can't put those talents on a resume
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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