I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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