whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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