it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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