4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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