dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
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First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
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sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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