I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize