i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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