For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
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I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
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Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
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