i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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