I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
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Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
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I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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