you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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