I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just forgot I was standing up.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize