ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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