you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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