I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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