And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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