Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize