He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I still have a little drunk in my system
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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