Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize