I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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