I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
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There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
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Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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