Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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