the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize