we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
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She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
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Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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