is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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