How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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