I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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