Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize