Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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