Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
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They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
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He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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