I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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