I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
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God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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