giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
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