omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize