just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
tell me about the fingering
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