Will you blow on my dice?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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