I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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