champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
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Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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