Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Barsexuality is the new black.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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