just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize