So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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