the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
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In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
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can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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