i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
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An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
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I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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