im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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