shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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