My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize