why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
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You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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